A walk with my spirit guide

I had been awake for some time and was lay on the bed watching the waves. My husband was making our morning coffee and I was quite content thinking about the day ahead. 

I closed my eyes and within seconds I was moved to a place I know too well. I lay on my bed but every sense I have was fully awakened and I knew exactly where I was. I was in my place, the place I call home, the place also known as heaven, the afterlife or the spirit world. 

I stood in the middle of a beautiful field. I recognised my surroundings immediately as part of the afterlife I had visited many times and in more intense ways. 

What was unusual was the gate I was standing before, a small gate with wooden slats. 

I focused on the gate for a while, thinking how out of place it felt in the middle of the countryside. The gate opened before me and on the other side of the gate I saw my Nana and behind her were my spirit loved ones. 

My heart filled with so much love and peace there are few words to describe. 

My Nana indicated I was welcomed to follow her through the gate. The excitement and love I felt at that moment was so big I was happy to step through. Except one thing!

Micheal, where was my guide? Something inside me made me stop before crossing the gate. 

Why wasn’t Micheal around? This didn’t seem like a normal day in the afterlife, this seemed different, almost bigger, my Nana and all those I loved were there, waiting for me to take that step. Micheal should be there.

No sooner had I had these thoughts when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to find my dear friend Micheal. 

I threw a million questions at him at once, like why was there a gate in the middle of a field, why were there so many spirits there and should I go through? 

Micheal explained to me I could go through the gate, I had that choice.

I almost ran now I heard it from him. 

“but.. But you wont be allowed back, Not in this lifetime.” 

I understood immediately, if I stepped through the gate I would  live there forever, home again, back in the afterlife. I would die in the psychical world. 

Filled with the joy, peace and love, I nodded, I was OK with that. I had so much to tell my Nana and the rest of the spirits on the other side.

But a sudden rush of pain and grief fled through me as I though of my children, my mother and my husband. I thought of Nicole and Danny with no mother and panicked because I hadn’t written them the “note.” 

“I can’t go, I haven’t written the note to my children”, I told Micheal. I explained how I needed to tell them not to cry for me, I will be OK and they have to continue to live their lives. I needed to tell them I will be happy and well and they must live everyday to the fullest without tears.

Micheal took my hand in his as I cried. “I need to tell my mum to carry on without me, not to spend the rest of her life in grief, I cant go and leave her like this. I need to tell my husband to be strong without me. And  I cant leave Nicole and Danny without the note.”

Thoughts of my daughter living all her dreams with sadness in her heart because I was gone, all the times she would cry for me and my son not having me to help him whenever he needed me, almost broke me. 

“Then choose not to come,” Micheal said. I looked towards the gate, it was now in the distance. My Nana smiled at me, she new, she new I wouldn’t go through. I walked with Micheal for some time in the beautiful landscape of the afterlife, pleased it wasn’t my time, pleased I was only a visitor there. 

At some point on our long walk and talk, my spiritual work came up in the conversation. I told him how much I loved my work but also told him about a few things that were bothering me. 

He soothed me and whispered, “continue to write from the heart, no matter what it is, only from the heart.” 

“I do, but sometimes I get stuck on what to write next,” I said. 

He smiled at me and said, “Write about this next.”

At that point my husband scared the living crap out of me by standing above me saying “Gaynor your coffee is ready.” 

I drank my coffee, got changed and immediately set about writing this post. 

I hope you enjoyed my post today. 

Love Gaynor.